life & the holidays of 2014

Life is life, we are still playing catch up from me being off for the summer. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve & I wish I still had more time, with money being so tight around here it isn't going to be much of a Christmas, but I am doing the best I can without stressing about it. I don't know if my children will be happy with the little amount they get, I feel little crap cause we got "adopted" for Christmas again this year & that is most of our Christmas, aside from the few things I got before hand.

Part of my whole worry is the sperm donor isn't paying, so that puts me behind in everything. The room mates moved out owing $800, and have only given me $200, when I asked for more, I got the excuse there car needed work & there money is tight right now, but I have seen things on social media that they are spending money, so I will bide my time but I will keep asking them for money, but they still have some of there stuff in my basement, don't really know what I'm gonna do about it yet.

The only thing I look forward to is after my holiday break, I get to start picking up my midget from daycare everyday, at least I should be, hopefully his mother got her paperwork taken care of.

The days creep on by & so does everything else, one day I won't have to worry so much, but for know life is life & I can't do anything about it.

Until next time
M

stress

at the moment life seems so stressful, but I know it isn't, that is just how I am in my nature after being off work all summer & going back to work, I am anxious for every pay day, because bills need to be paid & being behind in ever single bill suck big time, it feels like I am drowning again, I'm anxious & having more intense headaches, I don't have anybody I can turn to help & it sucks cause everybody I know is in the same boat as me, one of these days this won't be a reality in my life, I am bound & determined to change my stars, I want my children to not have to worry when they are adults & I am trying to teach them how to handle money, I was never taught this aspect of life.

I am also in the process of trying to find out what is going on with my health, after having a low grade constant migraine since July 18, 2012 & numerous other things going on I have an appointment with a rheumatologist on October 30, 2014 which happens to be my middle daughter's birthday, (that day is also the 2 year anniversary when my life was turned upside down by my oldest daughter) but I am looking forward to this doctor appointment & dreading it at the same time, I want to find out what is wrong with me, I have a suspicion as to what is going on but not going to dwell on it, I really hope this new doctor can figure out what is going on fairly quickly, so I can start to feel better & not be in pain, I want to enjoy my life again.

That is all for now, I have things to go take care of

A Year and A Half Later

Since I am not on here very much I just read the last 2 posts & life is a little better than the last time I posted, but not by much, I am in a better place in my life, I still have bad days, I am having problems in my life & I am dealing with them but I am not hiding like I was last time I was on here. I am at least talking to daughter, we are working on our relationship, I get to see my grandson, I call him MIDGET, he is adorable, his face lights up when he sees me & I say midget, I got to make the smash cake & the cupcakes for the1st birthday party for my side of the family, I get to baby sit him every once in a while. That's all I can think to blab on about at the moment, hopefully I will get on here more regularly.

MB